A poet ive never met once changed my entire life.

she said "do it, even if its the hardest thing youve ever had to do. even if youre still convinced he has hidden galaxies beneath his skin because baby he was always dark night sky & you were always a full moon."

so i like to call this one galaxies...
ive tried to write this poem 7 times
to illustrate our relationship with my sophomore syntax 
& infinite metaphors
all i needed was your honesty..

now i knnow its perfectly finne to speak my truth time to tell the world about your wandering eyes, jaw , and cherished tattoo

time to speak my mind

i absolutely HATED loving you, you left me stuck in vulnerability.

i hated giving up my soul each day to please you... i left behind my speech, my time, my comfort to compete for your acceptance...it never reached me..

i HATED screaming at the tip top of my lungs fromm frustration & all youd say was "shhhh.." becuase my dreams were screaming too loud from starvation but i refused to listen

i HATED clinging on hopelessly to pieces of you

grasping onto 11pm fairytales & virtual appreciation to mask reality

because i knew if i opened my eyes, i'd witness the day, the hour, the minute, you decided to leave.

blink & the next second you were gone... gone aboard a broken freight train dragging my teenage forevers along the tearstained and rusted tracks as i sit here, so numb its painful

i hope you reach your destination & i hope her bed is comfortable because you told me virgins make bad company

ive failed to write this poem 7 times out of fear, fear of realizing just how much i matter.ed

my face used to be all the sunnshine you needed

Venus was my only rival and even she couldnt stand against my smile...

i told you childhood secrets.. you gave me compliments that could make a tumblr girl reply.. whispered up the nape of my neck, i wrapped them tight in confidence & sealed them away in the crevasses of my mind... a haunnted place even your demons couldnt penetrate..

i told you childhood ssecrets, spiced them up with salty tears & Kleenex, & allowed my world to crumble. but your lies made it worthwhile. because a rose by any other name would smell as sweet and i madde the fatal mistake of calling you mine...

hope you remember me when pride takes aim & claws its way out of your throat. leaving battle scars and memories of my first love.

ill give thanks to the galaxies beneath your skin but first you must forgive me. forgive me for being so selfish, i loved you all by myself. forgive my smile's absence, my happiness belonged to you. look passed my universal scars & listen im trying to dedicate symphonies to you.

bebcause baby im a writer. and if literature has said said anything its that theres a heaven up there, beyond your skin. believe me, ive seen it, but we must keep it a secret because none of your demons would ever know how to treat it.