Frustrations

Location

It's the pain that she feels.
It’s the screams that she feels.
It's the ache in her brain.
It’s the hate in her veins.

It's the hurt that she feels.
It’s the fear that she has gained.
It's the game she had played.
The fate it caused her to make.

She can't seem to get out of her hate.
She can't seem to escape from her ill fate.
She can't seem to find the light she needs.
She can't seem to push past the pain she sees'.

It's the needles in her heart.
It’s the twisting knot in her stomach.
It's her eyes that close shut.
The darkness she has promised.

She fears for herself.
She fears that another is right.
But she fears to be found.
For she fears it will be either fight or flight.

She is a shark.
She is a rabbit.
She is a wolf.
She is a cat.

She can be cold as ice.
She can be hot as the sun.
She can be calm as the flowing river.
She can be angry as the hurricanes.

She is a twister of broken dreams and broken faith.
She is a hurricane sweeping away all of the weak.
She is a tsunami of tears.
She is a woman with fears.

She is afraid to break even for one.
She is afraid to cry without being judged.
She is afraid to open up for fear they will leave.
She is afraid to even believe.

Hurt is what owns her life.
Pain is what guides her mind.
Depression is what keeps her alive.
Anger is what keeps her blind.

She is a woman of many faces-emotions-and lives.
She is a woman who had to mature before it was her time.
She is now a girl who holds up a "Do not enter" sign.
She is a young girl who had been hurt too many times.

Handing her heart over one too many times
had brought her down to her knees.
She takes no hand but instead takes a bite.
For she feels everyone is out there to just harm her.

But seeing someone who has understand her type,
she is frightened and has decided to fight.
But why, is the question.
For which she has no answer.

She has stepped away,
and refuses to talk.
She wants that someone,
but is afraid he will do her away like the rest.

She is a pleasant woman.
She is just hard to find.
For others had hurt her.
All she merely did was try to love them.

She does not know what real love is.
Not after that man broke her heart on a 10'o clock night.

She feels lowly as the dirt she treads on,
as weak as a twig.
But her barriers are up.
And it's hard to get in.

She figures they will eventually give in,
just like the others did.
She feels like she's a complication,
and nobody can truly see who she is.

Who is she? She is a woman who’s been strong all her life.
But when chaos came in she did not know what to do.
So now she sits on the floor unsure what to do.

The night she met that man, again.
She felt more threatened than she did safe.
He read her like a book.
That was something that drove her slightly insane.

Now she stalks in empty black waters,
silent and cold.
For she is listening to her mind speak,
and not her soul.
One is saying yes,
while the other is saying no.

She doesn't know what to do,
other than listen to her instinct.
That instinct is to try and stand tall.
She fears for herself, and doesn't want to take the risk on her heart.

So what does she do now?
Does she swim off into the dark seas where nobody will be there to see her anymore?
Or does she take her chances with the emotional tides and deal with it?
She can't decide, and it is hard for her to do.

For this is a gamble she played before.
She had lost it all.
So does she take the chance?
Or does she stay alone?

She can't decide.
Her mind hurts.
But maybe now she can decide on her decision,
and hopefully will make the right choice.

Comments

AshleyBP93

This poem was written when I was going through a rough patch in a 4 year long relationship that had ended on my 18th birthday. I'm sure quite a few ladies and gentlemen can relate to this poem.

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741