Friendship

To open up both your hearts and ears to each other is called friendship

A concept for me, that has sorrowfully been near impossible for longer then I care to mention

Not the doors to my ears- they are nonexistent

But my heart is built like a fortress, with walls of steel and spikes

That bleed when opened, so I don't let them in past the lobby

And its okay, because they've never noticed

You see, it's easy to find and know someone's favorite things

Learn of their quirks, slang and bad habits

Become so well acquainted with their personality

That you can predict their reactions, and next decisions

But if that's all you can tell me

Then you'll never understand why I'll eat any color snow cone that's not rainbow

Or why I quit playing the piano

The secret of friendship

Is that the heart must be opened willingly

But a heart that has been too often neglected

Is left in a corner, ignored in the shadows until it is afraid to be seen

The black-out curtain blocks the peering of possible outsiders

Until the fabric becomes metal

And the tears, once freely shown to flush it out of my chest and onto my sleeve

Are repressed, and the drought covers my heart in superficial cracks

That leave the outside sharp and jagged

Enough to frighten away those scared to cut themselves

While I am bleeding inside these walls

It's locked away, hiding in this cage that is my ribs

But certain spots are still tender

And if you press on them gently

They will bleed, bleed enough to remind me that its okay to trust

And I will let you in, slowly

but if you push on them, sharpen your knife on my bones

in an effort see everything at once

Then I will break, and show you everything

But only once, and never again.

Then my walls will build up, and grow twice as thick to protect from the aching bruises of your forced entry

I've listened to you pour out your hearts to me

and the weight of them strains my shoulders as my own iron fortress drags me down from inside

Both of them throbbing against my lungs

A true friend is like a lover, they steal your iron heart

But instead of trying to decipher it's every code

Slip past the steel and chains

They only hold it, letting the spikes dig into and draw blood from the palms

Until you are ready to open it in their hands, peel away the metal in paper-thin strips

And they see the darkness inside

But instead of running or dropping it, they hold it tighter

Wash it with their tears until it has been cleaned enough for them to see the loneliness

That has been eating at you from the inside

They let it feast on them

Until it has stuffed itself, even unto death

And in it's place is born something new, fulfilling and bright

Friendship

 

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