Foster Brothers

Six years ago, two little boys invaded my home and stole my heart right from my chest.
The little ginger haired devils appeared in my life out of nowhere and they took control.
My boys grew in my home, baby Johnny's first word was my name.
I feared loving them, because I knew they were only temporary. But that didn't stop me, they became my brothers.
I protected them from reality, and they gave me a taste of fantasy.
They taught me that a family isn't always something you're born into, but a miracle that just finds you and completes you.
8 months went on. We had countless ups and downs, but I never stopped loving them.
December 26th, the day after Christmas, CPS placed them back into their birth homes.
I can still feel every single individual tear spilling down my cheeks for the next hour. Day. Month. Year.
I can still hear my baby Johnny screaming and crying for me as he pounds on the glass door as I walk back to the car.
I can still feel the pit in my stomach from when I woke up every morning, knowing they were no longer with me.
I can still see their smiles, and the funny faces they would make at me from across the room.
I remember each and every detail, and some days I wish I couldn't.
They changed my world.
They taught me patience.
They taught me what family was.
But most importantly,
They taught me that loving someone, unconditionally, sometimes means having to let them go for their own good.
My brothers were meant to be in their birth homes, and I know that now. It broke me years ago, but I loved them enough to let them go onto better things.
My boys changed my world. My perspective. My heart.
And I am forever grateful to have had them in my home, in my life, and in my family.
I was no longer a little girl with a blurry view on the world and humanity, but a heartbroken sister who could finally see the flaws and the wonders of our world.
The beauty of heartbreak is the growth it brings to you, and the memories you're lucky enough to remember from the good times.
To my baby brothers: Stephen and Johnny, thank you for teaching me how to love and how to grow from pain. You will always be my family.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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