Forlorn
I am forlorn
I allow my studies to consume my entire being,
A way of sidestepping true feelings
I tread through life pretending,
Pretending that I am joyous or pleased
I surround myself with people,
Not wanting to face myself.
I am Forlorn
Everyday I put on my disguise,
Throw up my iron walls
For none shall pass,
None shall penetrate the real me
The fear of who I really am,
That fear that haunts my soul
What if the person I so desperately want to be,
Is not who I really am?
I am forlorn
My forsaken eyes no longer see happiness or wonder,
Their focus of death and dismay
No longer a prance in my stride,
The unwillingness to place right in front of left
My head is not high, my shoulders are not back,
No longer do I welcome the day with open arms
I am forlorn for the time
I shan't sing in the shower,
Nor dance in my underwear
I shan’t embrace friendship
Nor the love of another
I shan’t allow myself to forget those joyous memories
For I hold them with tight fists until that faithful day
When I finally decide to expel forlorn from my life,
The day when I am completely and utterly joyous