Because I choose not to let

my mother’s reputation precede me

even though she gave me away when I was 6 months old

gave me away dirty and full of bruises

wearing shoes that were too small

in a car seat that stank

and flawless

she gave me up for crack

that cracked her teeth

that cracked her mind

that stole her baby

her dealer

threw me from a car

because she couldn’t pay

how he wanted her to pay,

which she paid anyway

with her body

her body, that dances in front of me like a ghost from the grave

her story that tries to grab me like a grey hand from a casket

her blood that lives inside of me

that i must remember

was still hers

and not mine

and everyday when i look in the mirror and am scared

of a future that gets clouded by the past

I must remember

I am flawless

I must remember

what has been her story and what will be  mine

I must remember,

I am 14 carats,  

I can’t help but shine

Unlike she, I will graduate from high school

Unlike she, I will graduate from college

Unlike she, I will be an independent woman

I will be flawless