we didn’t start off as the hours on the phone type.
both of us were completely comfortable in our own awkward silence.
time was spent doing nothing most days.
but it became something when beside her.
she was so cool.
it was like i desperately needed to be inside her mind.
i wanted so badly her attention.
i wanted so badly her approval.
i fought for her til she was mine.
with my wit and carelessness.
showed her i was something worth keeping
and from there unwrapped a quaint combination.
i was fire and she was ice.
so often i tried to light her up,
just like she would try to freeze me.
amongst these experiments we learned it all…
she knew that i was wildfire
and i knew she was solid ice.
two aspects we knew couldn’t change
two aspects we tried to swallow
but with my fire i burned her tongue
she lost most of her senses
she melted and has yet to reform
but hasn’t forgotten how good my warmth can feel
she knows she may never get her taste back
and she may forever hate my sparks
but something inside her desires my warmth
…she can’t imagine going back
now i have grown a hate for my flames
my mistakes are like gasoline
i fear my fire is out of control
too large of a scene to be combined.
…but she is so cool.
now i finally can hear whats in her mind.
yet i find myself still desperately wanting her approval.
wanting her to say “it’s okay”.
I understand some burns don’t heal
some burns forever leave scars
and although she’ll always desire my warmth
she now knows the danger of my flames.
i don’t think we’ll end as the hours on the phone type
we may be completely fine without things being explained
time will be spent doing nothing like before.
and that will become something when i’m without her.