When I think of how far i’ve come

 i remember numb

How vividly i recall the feeling of nothing

It pierces, always stings

Intoxicates and disables

Scars everywhere, never fading

Love and mislove, both feel the same

Numb, nada, none

Never had anything felt so badly

as numb

Lesson learned, red burns, hopefully not

forever scorned

Never numb again

But feelings hurt too

It is a punishment and a relief to feel

so deeply

If i could paint the world with

my feelings, it’d be a

glaring red inferno

or nothing at all

 

But look

Stars are hotter than Hell

beautiful still

Stars are but a flame

Learned to shine a different light

And for me as well

 

Not a hot mess,

Sunshine

No longer consumed by emotion

Rather

I am swimming through

Oceans of joy

Climbing mountains of despair and

Learn to see the world

Not let the world see me

 

Fingerprints on the peak

Footprints in the sand

I was here

Burns and scars and memories

Onward still

No longer numb

or hurt by feeling

I feel and grow

Warmth of the sun stretches towards the seed

And the sunflower reaches back

I grow towards the heavens

 

Strong, beautiful, bright

When I think about how far I’ve come

I remember numb

But I feel now

And it feels

Phenomenal