Finding Myself

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 13:17 -- Zefania

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Who am I?

Anxiety, Depression, Negativity and Anger consume me.

Is that really me?

Feelings of despair and denial fill my heart.

It can't be

 

I am connected with my family,

Community and Friends.

 

Why do these emotions linger within me?

Happiness, Joy, and Love are not strangers to my heart,

But I can't shake the negativity that stays now.

 

Smiles and Laughter were what once defined me.

Compassion, Generosity, Truthfulness,

And an abundance of energy

Was what I was.

 

Still there within me, these trait's dwell,

Though their lights have dimmed

And been overcast with the shadows of emptiness.

Anxiety, depression, anger, fear, and doubt trouble me.

Who am I?

These Feelings are not me.

I feel lost.

Lost in a sea of emotions.

 

What can I do to find myself again I ask.

What if finding the old me can not be done.

Am I still here?

Or Have I always been here, hiding,

Hiding the inner me;

My inner most thoughts, My inner worries and My inner feelings of anger and sadness.

Who am I?

 

Not knowing keeps me awake at night.

Not knowing makes my heart fill to the brim with sadness

Not knowing is what angers me the most

 

But with all that said I will not believe it.

I will not believe I am that.

I will not believe I can never be found.

I will not believe the negativity and doubt that fill me.

 

Instead I must believe my smile can still shine,

my laughter can still be joyous, and my mind still confident.

I must believe I am found.

I must believe I can change how I think.

I must believe who I am is not set in stone.

 

Some say a person cannot change who they are

They can believe what they want, but someone really can change.

Instead of asking who am I?

A knowledge of I am this can be established.

 

Feeling lost and powerless is horrible,

But feeling confident and empowered is amazing;

And so I ask myself again a question that will be asked time and time again with life's many endeavors and Decisions that shape who we are.

Who am I?

I am me,

Who I want to be.

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