Finding ME

Finding Me 

Freeing my mind is something I tend to wash away, something I tend to have to stumble upon in my inner sanctum, I am afraid of what I might share with the world, I am afraid of being free in my own skin am I good enough to rise above the next me, I don’t know what the next me will bring, will she shine bright like a diamond or I will she dim her own light on the out casting shadow of herself, I don’t know if I am strong enough to stand in the spotlight on my own .. how am I supposed to  stand here in front of you all and declare my greatness if I can’t even fathom the word dwelling in my soul…am I ready to step into this world bare foot cold and alone..

Freeing my mind is the hardest thing to do when I have to sit in front of a thousand and one unsuspecting faces, being terrified to show the real me you don’t know how much that drains me, trying to hide between the shadows. It’s not enough darkness to hide the Oreo the dwells inside of me. Being me being black is that my inner fear, why do I fear the one thing that god has blessed me with “My Beautiful, unbreakable Skin”... I think I’m trying to discover “Who I Am?” But the crazy thing is I know who I am and what I want to be, then why is it so hard to face the truth it is my skin “My Beautiful, Unbreakable Skin”… How do I recover from the discovery of my Oreo which is unbreakable skin? Is my existence an acceptance letter to find something greater than myself?

Finding where this broken piece is in this forever flowing river I don’t know if I can do it alone.. You know that song “Lately”, do you remember the lyrics “Have I told I loved you lately, have I told you still mean the world to me’ that’s what I’m missing from my soul searching mind freeing journey finding what I been looking for all this time You… and when I say you I mean the you the dwells inside my soul, you the one I am afraid to let out..

                                                    “My Beautiful Unbreakable Black Skin”

Guide that inspired this poem: 

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