Eyes Can’t Tell:

Let’s not talk

 

I

Friday walk to Union

Vegan balcony, homophobic

Chicken sandwich

Shame for eating

Casual conversation, lovely

Talk

Unwanted company – eyes

Stare, daggers, loss of

Concentration, lost in anger

Attempt to soothe

Seems to yield nothing

Cannot realize worth of

One’s self

Calls to bird

Perching on nearby table

Forces me to try

Food – not too bad

Rehash summer visions

On the couch starving but

Too afraid to eat

Bathroom floor puking for

A week:

Vegan meals of quinoa burgers

And bowls of tofu

Polka dot Keds with navy

Floral dress

Finds Spanish interesting

To no interest of my own

Hair red hands pink –

Keep it that way –

I kind of like it

Leave in 5 minutes – Tentative

Evening schedule

Outdoors – inside makes

Sick

Staying in room – friend’s

Room – disaster roommate

Left behind – 3 days

Memories brought back by

Sweater – Pinetop – smell of

Past winter

Table crooked – makes me

Freak – best sit on hands

Eyes say more than mouths

Upset –with who or what –

Eyes can’t tell

 

II

Rocky Horror Halloween – Columbia –

Not the place, but the girl with

Face powder and deep lip stick

Start On The Road, you’ll Like it

He loves those who pass

You’ve never loved – I have

“McCandless” – so that’s How you say it

The Sun Also Rises – Brett’s

A bitch – but she’s not really A bitch,

She’s so much more

Part III of “Howl” – “I’m with you in Rockland”

I’m with you in fineness

I’m sick of fineness

I’d like to be happy –

Gilmore – again Halloween

Last year though

Be impossibly happy, which Is happily impossible

Exit trap, break chain

Be free think free

Forget bad. Out with the

Old, in with the new

I live in clichés, drenched

In dirty old dried-up Meaningless

Garbage words

I don’t need language

Unknown message – endless

Void – complete illusion

“Teacher helps, guru is”

 

 

 

 

III

Apache Lake summer Camping

Better than Canyon

Family boat – common

Ground

Feather flutters to startle

Watched entire time without

Tell

Stuck in void – thoughts, Thoughts

Can’t not be holding back

Break this binding – must do

So –

Living in past – thinking of

Future

Can’t live here – can’t see

The Now – but I try

I’m trying – I’m trying

To tell others

But there’s no freedom – let’s

Not be silly

We’re in America – there’s

No freedom here, you clown

Alone – aloneness – Alonizing

Alone – freedom, they’re the Same

Chalkboard for the thoughts