within the androgynous expectations of society

lies my muddled mind - hurt and laughter, hurt and laughter

do i laugh and condone the jokes about my skin color and femininity or do i become livid and melancholy — and lash out about a supposed joke

within the androgynous expectations of race

lies my self confidence and esteem - beaten more than a horse

do i speak raise my voice and rectify there is beauty within all? or do i go against my own race and speak of them as garbage with a tight, fraudulent smile on my face

within the androgynous expectations of gender

lies my beauty and self respect — folded more than a hopeless gambler

do  i f should i feel trashy when a ‘cat caller’ compliments my legs or do i feel like a harlot, a call girl, a broad— as the compliment increases the serotonin in my brain

within the androgynous expectation of the world

lies all the things i shouldn’t concern about :

race

gender

and society

yet the androgynous world revolves around trends, gender, race and judgement

people will continue to tell me not to stress over what society deems me

but until society, community, you

realize that i will continue to be muddled, distraught, and perturbed, until society stops hypocritically telling me not to worry