The Everlasting, Tentacled Heart
The Everlasting, Tentacled Heart
What a wonderfully lovely little girl she was
With her long hair flowing behind her juvenile face
With a body that at the same time appeared both incredibly strong and incredibly weak.
With eyes that jump into one’s soul and take over
With also, a sense of uneasiness
With a sense of fear and of anxiety
With with a look of deep, emotional trauma
Pulling at her heartstrings, dictating her every step
Yet, with a certain amount of optimism that put a spring into her every step
What shall I do? What shall I say?
There is nothing I can do; There is nothing I can say
She is simply more spectacular than words can portray
For this, I am terribly afraid
…
She is soooooo cute
Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!
Her Eyes
Oh jeez! oh jeez!
Her Hair
Oh God! Oh God!
Her Hands
O golly! O golly!
Her Face
Oy vey!
For this, I am terribly afraid
…
I have finally learned her name
And glimpsed her person
Never have I heard more of a sense of irony in a woman’s voice
Or one as beautiful and lovely
I’ve noticed things about her
Her quivering lips
Her darting eyes
These movements I find entirely exhilarating
What beauty in such a small thing
I imagine us as friends, walking side by side
I imagine us together, laughing at the absurdity of mankind
I imagine us embraced, with arms ‘round each other
Locked together at the mouth in an endless moment of complete and total joy
For this, I am terribly afraid
…
She shall never be with I
Speaking with her fills me with a stupidity I cannot overcome
Mistakes are made
Things are said
Her perception of me is scoured
I’ve lost the thing that I never had to begin with
Yet I feel an emptiness inside
For this, I am terribly afraid
…
I continue on with life as though nothing has occurred
Days pass and I neglect to see her
But she never leaves my mind
Attempts to push her out have been nothing but futile
I become uneasy, I become fearful
The fear of being followed washes over me
She follows everywhere I go
Not in body but in spirit
I scamper down a hallway to escape her
But everywhere I turn I see her face
Her spirit haunts me
Standing at the end of the corridor is a disembodied heart
All around the heart are thick black tentacles
I am horrified
For I know who this heart belongs to
It belongs to her
The heart follows me, with its flailing all around
I scream but there is
Nowhere to run, Nowhere to hide
For this, I am terribly afraid
…
At night time, I lay in my bed
My thoughts invaded by the disembodied face of the one that I cannot forget
The one who has never given me a second thought
My sleep had already been disturbed, but now another event began to occur
Black tentacles appear out of the darkness and dig directly into my chest
Out of my sternum they pull my still-beating heart
I can do nothing but sit and stare in awe
Her heart appears before and seems to laugh at my fear
My heart is consumed by her essence
I am now heartless
Staring into the soul of the creature who has robbed me of my humanity
The apparition leaves and the night is again still
There is a throbbing pain she has left behind
A pain that I have never before felt consumes me
I weep with more tears than I can stand to admit
I weep more profusely than I ever have
I weep for the love that can never be fulfilled
I weep for the fact that I can never reach her to reclaim what is mine
I weep because I love her
For this, I am terribly afraid
…
How shall I go on?
Knowing she exists
Knowing she’s alive
How could I move on?
Feeling the way I feel
Thinking that it's real
How am I to live?
Being on my own
Feeling so alone
How can I go on without her?
For this, I am terribly afraid
…
Looks of another pierce my mind
A woman with the body of a supermodel comes into my life
Her voluptuous hips swaying from side to side
Her full lips almost dripping with anticipation
Her breasts looking almost ready to burst
Lust is embodied in her being and it has struck me like a knife
Blood rushes through my veins until I reach a point of stimulation
I no longer feel her tugging at my chest
I forget the feelings of hopelessness
I forget the feelings of rejection
I forget the feelings of regret
I forget the feelings of guilt
I almost feel a peace
But then I catch a glimpse of her through a crowd of people
Suddenly the lust of another leaves my mind
She makes me feel remorse
How could I have seen anyone but her?
Her powerful stare pulls me over and pushes me to my knees
Tears fall from my face
Like a Goddess, she stands over me with her wrists pointed toward the heavens
I put my mouth to her wrists and gently kiss them
I push out words in between tears and pray for her forgiveness
More than anything, I begged she could love me as much as I did her
Then my face turned to hers
No longer was she a beautiful, holy Goddess but an ugly, demonic witch
There evil in her eyes and I could feel in her heart
Grabbing her thighs, I rest my head on her warm, small stomach
Weeping
Screaming
Begging
For everything I have always wanted
Her face shone with purity of soul while her eyes burned a fire of deep-rooted anger
She holds out her hands as if she held an olive branch
I go to take her hand but she grabs mine and pulls it out of socket
I scream in pain
For I am now her slave
She has overpowered me
I have relinquished control of myself to her
No longer am I my own person
There is only her
For this, I am terribly afraid
…
Now forever am trapped here
In a cavern deep inside the Earth
Limbs outstretched, tied to tentacles stretching from far away and distant walls
Without clothing, without sustenance, without hope of ever seeing the light of day again
I scream but my voice does nothing but echo off the walls and reverberate into nothing
I weep for I have made this prison for myself
I must suffer for what I have done
Her heart is here with me
Sitting directly my line of vision
The tentacles swaying back and forth in front of me
Back and forth
Back and forth
Trying to turn my head is fruitless
Everywhere I turn the creature follows
I can do nothing but stare at it for eternity
At the undying, uncaring, everlasting tentacled heart of my love
For this, I am terribly afraid
Unless of course, I’m just being fucking ridiculous