In the Event of My Death

In the event of my death,
I hope they know I tried.
Day in
Day out
Waking up and trying again
To live a life
That was going to end
...in tragedy.

 

Being alive
It seems like dying is so easy.
What awaits we aren't aware
But living life
There are many guarantees:
Struggle
Pain
Burden.
Dying is the easy part.
Living is a battle.

 

My Death may bring tears
Yet my struggle in life bring few.
They watch you struggle
Help or don't 
Don't know of the pain
Of wanting to want--to be alive.

 

Being alive is an ever-constant war.
A cycle of pain
With minimal breaks.
The breaks make the pain worse.

 

In my death
I hope they remember my victories.
That the death was a release
From the nonstop battles.
I hope they cry for only a day
And that my release is just another piece of pain that comes in their war.

 

I know others will win teh war.
In my own way
I will have won mine.
It is the path less taken
And comes with some questions of my mental health
But is is still my strategy all the same.

 

In the event of my death
Please don't dwell on my utlimate shortcoming.
Remember my victories in the way
That will make my defeat seem more shocking.

 

I tried my best really.
But the war fought hard...

This poem is about: 
Me

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