At times when i’m all alone, i’m thinking should I end it?

Should I end the days where I “ Smile” all day long?

 

Should I let go of my very own life?

Should I stop seeing the days fly by?

 

I want to be free like a bird because birds can fly away from their problems.

 

But I can’t, i’m like an animal at a zoo, trapped with problems.

 

I can’t escape them, The problems are always there.

 

At this point, I don’t want to smile,laugh,talk,sing,dance,

And look at the world.

 

This world is not for me, I was born in the wrong time and in the wrong place.

 

I’m an Angel turning into a demon.

 

I know if I do ‘end it’ I won’t be with god in heaven, i’ll be in hell with the devil in hot burning lava.

 

I know you’re thinking ‘ why would you end it?’

 

I’ll tell you why, I’m tired of getting bullied.

Emotionally, mentally, and physically.

 

I can’t live anymore, I can’t cope with life.

 

I can’t be An insect being killed by everyone,betrayed by everyone.

 

I can’t deal with knowing that, I’m a disappointment to my mom.

I had bad grades all middle school,

 

While my younger brother was better than me, both of them actually. My mom always was on their side, but never on mine.

 

That made me feel dead inside.

 

My Brothers are a beautiful butterfly, while i’m an ugly moth

 

I’m looking for good colleges to get accepted in for the future.

 

But my mother already hates me, so what's the point?

 

What's the point if she is not even going to pay for it?

 

What's the point of living if i’m not enjoying that i’m alive?

 

What's the point of smiling, if i’m not really happy on the inside?

What's the point of feeling, when all i could feel is pain?

 

So what's the point of me being in this world, if no one's going to miss me?

 

If i didn’t have a good mind, I would already be dead.

But i’m losing my mind now.

All i could think about is a knife against my

 

skin,Neck, arm , wrist, and legs.

 

I want to feel the pain the rush,suffer, my life racing, and heart pounding.

 

I want my family to suffer when i’m gone

I want them to realize what they have lost

 

And I want them to wish for a second chance to treat me right.

 

Until then I’m a flying bird in the clouds reaching for the sun and feeling the breeze against my wings,

 

Until I just want to end It.

 

Bye for now,

 

Its ok im sorry but i can't stay,

 

too much pain and i cant live to see another day

 

and tell my family it's ok.