There once was a friend named Jake
Who unfortunately now I quite hate.
He needed attention
And lacked motivation
And would often intrude on my dates.

He said that he needed my help
When really he needed my wealth,
But my time is money
And it is not funny
To waste it. So please, help yourself!

His problems continued to grow.
His emotions, they started to show.
Now he's making threats
And our friendship's a mess
As it reaches an all-time low.

Now here is a fact about me.
I like to help all equally.
So it's hard to refuse
And my girlfriend I'll lose
If I keep being an absentee.

So this is the final straw.
I'm no longer helping at all.
You've insulted my love,
whom you're not above.
Get out Jake, or this ends in brawl!