I don't think I ever told you 

I don't think I ever had the chance 

tripping over my tongue 

and my feelings 

and my feet 

 

when I knocked on your door 

kept coming back 

trying to find something 

I had no idea  

what it was 

couldn't explain why I was so drawn 

I had no words  

so I drew it in the love-hearts 

and flowers  

and sunny meadows  

that covered my term papers 

 

growing on the margins of my paper  

and my mind 

I couldn't explain 

the why 

of how you made me so happy 

so sure  

so true 

so much better 

 

so when you couldn't tell me  

and I couldn't tell me  

what it was 

I panicked.  

I forced your hand away  

because for the first time  

ever  

in my brief time on this earth  

I  felt. 

 

I have lived my whole life  

feeling the pain  

and joy of others  

 my own so small and insignificant   

in comparison

and with you, 

It's all I could feel. 

for the first time I was not the bystander 

the spectater 

the cheerleader 

I was the star. 

 

as we watched the stars  

in the woods  

whirling on in the night sky 

something stirred in my chest  

and I panicked 

 

and now that the limb is chopped 

and this phantom feeling remains  

 I no longer care  

about the why 

because  

I think  

I can finally say it 

and not be afraid 

you'll be embarassed 

or upset 

or think I'm crazy 

because you don't care  

about me  

anymore 

so although the point is now moot  

I hope you don't mind  

that I finally put it down in words:

 

I love you.