The Effort
You are worth the effort
You will always be worth the effort
he says
to my aching heart
and haunted mind as I stare
blankly, devoid of emotion or awareness
and I know that he means
what he says
every time he says it
and I know that I should believe it
every time I hear it
I am worth the effort
I say
remembering those words
speaking kindly to myself in my time of utter disaster
trying to quiet the storm in my mind
that is ravaging my thoughts
tearing through my heart
destroying the core of my being in that moment
the effort is hard to keep up
the effort is hard to accept
it feels as though the void of despair has overtaken me
that my life holds no meaning
that there is no effort to be given
the disease that tears away at my sense of self
crippling my soul as it screams for the light
at the end of the tunnel it can no longer see
but as that light blinks out and the darkness overwhelms me there is one thing I hear singing softly
That I am worth the effort.
That I will always be worth the effort.
a sweet river of tenderness breaking through the ice
a soul shaking off the debris of the storm
I look for it
I plead for it
I grasp onto it when it is found
and I realize he really means
I am worth the effort.
I am always worth the effort.