You are worth the effort
You will always be worth the effort

he says
to my aching heart
and haunted mind as I stare
blankly, devoid of emotion or awareness

and I know that he means
what he says
every time he says it

and I know that I should believe it
every time I hear it

I am worth the effort
I say

remembering those words
speaking kindly to myself in my time of utter disaster

trying to quiet the storm in my mind
that is ravaging my thoughts
tearing through my heart
destroying the core of my being in that moment

the effort is hard to keep up
the effort is hard to accept

it feels as though the void of despair has overtaken me
that my life holds no meaning
that there is no effort to be given

the disease that tears away at my sense of self
crippling my soul as it screams for the light
at the end of the tunnel it can no longer see

but as that light blinks out and the darkness overwhelms me there is one thing I hear singing softly

That I am worth the effort.
That I will always be worth the effort.

a sweet river of tenderness breaking through the ice
a soul shaking off the debris of the storm
I look for it
I plead for it
I grasp onto it when it is found
and I realize he really means

I am worth the effort.
I am always worth the effort.