10th of May.
Sun like a spotlight,
Sweat like a second skin,
Skin slick, sweat pooling,
We burned, we drowned,
Bodies soaked,
You, a wildflower in the concrete,
Me, a sailor off course,
No compass, no map,
Caught in the heat of sybarites

Hot. Wet. Raw.
You rocked me to my core,
Like an animal, I roar—
Fireworks in the sheets,
Explosions on repeat,
But we knew the tide would turn,
Knew the horizon was coming,
To pull us apart,
But the way you fuck me...

Oh, fuck me—
Out to sea.
One month, maybe three,
Lost, no land in sight,
You want wings, while I’m left to fight,
Chained to love,
Or is it fear?
You drift free,
I’m stuck here.

Cold. Damp. Dawn.
You pulled me close,
Tongues swimming deep,
Your lips a storm,
Mine, lost at sea.
Three last goodbyes,
Each kiss wetter,
Each touch harder,
Your hands slipping, sliding,
Tracing rivers down my spine,
Till we were drenched.

You wanted freedom,
To feel the wind in your hair,
And someone else’s hands
On your skin while I’m gone.
Your words, sharp as sea glass,
Cut deep, left me adrift,
In a storm of doubt,
Non-monogamy,
Like the ebb and flow of waves,
It’s the current,
The pulse of our world,
But it feels like drowning.

This ache in my chest,
This knot in my gut,
Thinking maybe I’m too old-fashioned,
Too tethered to one star,
While the rest of the sky
Opens wide for you.

The ship’s horn blares,
A siren song pulling me to duty,
To the endless blue
Where I can forget,
Or try to.
But the taste of you
Lingers like salt on my lips,
And the thought of another
Sailing in my wake
Haunts me in the stillness of the night.

I’m torn between tides,
The pull of the deep,
And the anchor of your eyes.
I want to hold you,
To keep you close,
But I know love isn’t a chain,
And I’m scared of what that means,
Scared of letting go,
Scared of staying,
Scared of being the only one
Who can’t ride the waves.

Non-monogamy—
It’s the queer parade,
The trendy brigade,
But to me, it’s like drinking seawater,
All thirst and no quench.
I’m no stranger to tides,
But this one’s got teeth,
Dragging me down,
Drowning me slow,
And I’m ashamed to admit,
I’m the square peg,
Trying to fit in a round hole.

While you’re out there galaxy hopping,
And I’m here,
Tied to a dock that’s rotting,
Watching you sail into the sunset
With your polygamous dreams,
While I’m stuck in monogamous streams,
Anchored, while you drift free.

I’ll be gone for three months,
And when I’m back,
Will you be waiting?
Or will you be a postcard
From a place I can’t return to?
Either way, I’ll be sailing,
Lost in the blue,
Haunted by the ghost of you.