Eagle Scout


United States
34° 0' 35.0856" N, 118° 27' 57.4488" W

I climbed up the mountain,
the day was blue.
Sprinkled in gold and burned with truth.
The sun shone as I reached my goal.
The peak loomed, then welcomed and called me home.
I needed the square knot, but not the taut line hitch.
I needed a fire, but did not need the wire saw.
I wanted the award, but did not want judgement.
I was a scout, only until I was gay.
When I could no longer keep silent,
the days of climbing mountains with my best friends,
the days of striking record speeds with my brothers,
the days of soaring through life supported and cared for,
would be gone.
I would be gay.
A waste.
So, I kept silent. For all 10 years.
I closed my mouth and hid my tears.
I put in the work and did all I could,
and finally the day came,
Eagle Scout.
There was nothing you could do.
No one could have stopped me.
I knew that I was good enough,
I knew what I had to prove.
Mostly to myself,
Maybe to my Mom.
I was brilliant.
I was strong.
Now it is time to tell the truth,
I am gay.
No longer a scout.
It comes with some shame and bitterness,
but the sweet freedom from hate and indifference,
shines away any awkwardness.
I am gay.
No longer a scout.
I am gay.
And I have come out.
Here at the mountain top,
without my best friends,
without my brothers,
without my men.
As I look around,
I see the truth,
those of us here,
are the real men I know.




As an Eagle Scout myself, I am continually appalled at the BSA's stance on not allowing homosexual men to participate in the program--excluding others based upon something as arbitrary as their sexual preference is definitely not morally straight, friendly, kind, or courteous. I'd glad you have chosen truth over public perception, and am especially glad you chose to write a poem about it. This is definitely an issue I wish more people would discuss.


Agreed Samuel! I was appalled when I read about Eagle Scouts sending back their badges. I always wanted to be a girl scout and was never allowed, but now, I'm okay with that. ;)

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