My soul cries,
Enough to drown me.
Leaving me to try and try
To save myself.
But also hoping
That someone else will rescue me.
And just when I think someone is,
They pull me from the water just to push me back in.
Holding my head under,
Rendering me unconscious.
Then somehow I miraculously emerge
From the depths of my mind.
Swimming back to shore
To sit in the sand.
And in that moment,
Everything seems okay.
Everything seems okay until high tide rolls in,
And grabs my feet and drags me back in.
Back into the pit of my mind where nothing is okay,
And there’s no saving myself this time.
Forever searching for something that cannot be found,
Slowly fading away.
I open my eyes one last time,
To see myself standing over me.
The other me reaches her hand out,
Making me believe I was saved.
But the me standing with her arm stretched,
Submerges her hand and grabs me by the throat.
Strangling myself until everything goes black,
And I’m not drowning anymore.
Everything is serene,
The whirling storm has passed.
The waves crash softly on shore,
The dark sky is engulfed with bright blue.
The seagulls mew,
Scoping the water for food.
It’s finally all okay,
And my soul doesn’t cry anymore.