For someone who always has something to say,

I am drawing blank.

Words, however plentiful in my mind, 

become scarse as they leave my mouth.

I try to search for something to say to you,

Wanting to tell you how you are constantly on my mind, 

but when I see you, my brain freezes, 

similar to eating ice cream too fast, my mouth dry as desert

When you are away, 

everything is fine. I can think about you a little more clearly.

I can fantasize about your lips,

eyes,

smile

But I fear you see me

In a way that is not myself

You see the parts deemed too big,

too large,

too heavy,

too wide.

Yes, I know its wrong to think this way

It is.

I know.

But it is the truth.

Just how it is.

Maybe you will prove me wrong

You'll look the other way

and see me for who I am. 

Unlike me those chances are slim.

and you proabably won't.

And its Okay.