Don't Tell Me What I Want To Hear


United States
37° 44' 35.6712" N, 122° 29' 51.6048" W

Overrated and complicated
It’s never what is seems
Never on the same page
I gave him everything

Learning he didn’t want to commit
Both curious if this was adequate
Dissatisfaction persists
Not ready to admit he has to call it quits

Waves of euphoria crash on the shore of lost passion
Everything I thought we had turned ashen
Using each other with opposite motivation
Both lacking communication
Palpable indifference
I start to feel like a nuisance
Choking on the truth
At least neither acted uncouth

My heart yet again filtering the venom
Thinking about how you convinced me out of my demin
Wilted and worn
Punctured by this thorn
Wanting new vitality
Eager to have normality

Comprehension of lust not love
Hating being deprived of
Left only more lonesome
Leaving me more bothersome
Sulking in my new found diffidence
Yearning for the lost pride and confidence
Weak and pathetic but not accepting sympathy
And in most cases hiding my agony

He led me on to acquire what he longed for
Leaving me feeling like a whore
Not willing to take it anymore
I showed myself to the door

He never anticipated it would be so alluring to stay
No rules, no strings attached, no restrictions, no effort
I hate how the break up is now on display
Now no one is in comfort
Never envisioned how complex and unfavorable it would be to walk away
Now he is afraid to stand at bay
When I gave him the perfect chance he tried to give the cold truth in a small serving
Only because the increasing affinity made what we had unnerving

The final times we were close
That extra lethal dose
His lack of endearment, sentiment so blatantly shown
Thinking I should have known
This of course crushed me the most

Fed me lies and
Quenched my thirst with words of manipulation
I grew weary of this situation
At least someone was left satisfied
My fondness for him quickly died

My optimistic tendencies only added to my bruise
Questioning whether or not to accuse
Sulking in the pleasant memories that were most likely fictitious
Maybe the only thing that kept us going was the pressure being seditious
Contemplating when it was decided I wasn’t your cup of tea
Where you decided you were no longer fond of me

So many sacrifices
Dealing with too many consequences
So much effort given
he was so easily forgiven
One-sided relationship
Wanting to ship him off on a guilt trip
Leaving me wondering what is true sincerity?
Why does he lack so much lucidity?

The easy way out only leads to more pain
That’s why I grew a pair to confront him on what remains
I was the reason our affability was maintained

I don’t blame him for it going wrong
I just hope he hasn’t felt this way all along
Myself doesn’t escape the fault
This isn’t so easy to take with a grain of salt
Struggling to open up and be me
Which is just as easy as having money grow on trees
Not wanting to get hurt
Found it easier to revert

Tried drowning my problem with liquor
Found out my problem is a talented swimmer

Left uneasy by this unjust plight
Never given the chance from our first night
Regretting not sharing more individuality
Only the more reason it leads to our fatality
Lost in wonder at where this maze would lead if it weren’t tampered with
By the evil witch that handed me that granny smith

But then I do it again…
Hop on the next freight train
Destined for only more chest pain.
But it’s insane for me to complain about all this distain
For I am to blame


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