Don't

I've said too much now  

words I did not mean to say  

angry words to just drive you away.   

 

and yet I always come back.

 

I don't like this whole "confiding" thing 

it makes me feel vulnerable 

voice so weak and wavering  

 

yet I still sing.  

 

I don't want you looking at the broken shards 

pointing out my fragmented reality 

everyone believes their version is true  

I know this is an unfair grudge

but I don't think you are in position 

to judge.  

 

and yet you still pass sentence.  

 

so I say the words 

the ones I don't mean 

don't believe   

murder the truths that I've gleaned

so you will leave me alone 

even though I need this. 

 

yet I still can't accept it. 

 

I am a wild thing 

though I know I need the medicine  

jabs and needles 

I still lash out  

when you  

prode my cuts 

reactionary pain  

makes me drive you away  

when honestly  

I know I need you to stay.  

 

yet I cannot be a fire without a flame.  

 

so stop lecturing 

stop pretending I'm tame   

stop acting so innocent 

because you think I'll take the blame   

I feel so trapped  

and cornered 

surrounded  

by sharp spears 

the barbs and the jabs  

screams only I can hear. 

 

yet you say it's only game. 

 

well it ain't no fun  

over and over  

this toxic rerun 

I'm holding on with only one finger 

so I can't make a fist   

I don't think I ever signed up for this. 

 

yet here I am. 

 

 here I will stay  

for all these things  

can't make me go away   

nowhere to run 

nowhere to hide 

this is why I'm trying 

to give you these words  

from inside.  

 

yet all I can say is:

"don't."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My community

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