Destruction or Sacrifice?


United States
27° 21' 52.902" N, 82° 28' 50.4876" W

My heart has grown weary waiting for your return.
I have grown restless over time.
It has been years since I have seen your smile.
If I listen carefully I can hear your voice.
Everything in my surroundings reminds me of you.
At the mention of your name I begin to ache.

Why you had to leave, I do not know.
Why you cannot return to me, I do not understand.
You were the one I loved, yet love is such a delicate word.
For years I waited for you, but you did not come.
For years I had believed your promise, but you broke it.
Your words were so beautiful, but beauty is superficial.

You were my angel, my rock, my savior.
You were my best friend, and my secret lover.
We lead separate lives, but we were always together.
Over a matter of time you became my drug, my poison, my tormentor.
You became my manipulator, and my hidden destruction.

To those who know you, you are a plague.
Those who know me, know I was cursed.
They watch our struggle, see your plan and see my pain.
They want me to be happy, but at what cost?
To be miserable without you or to be broken with you?

I wanted to be your world.
I wanted to give you everything.
I wanted to trust you.
I wanted to be so much more to you.
But you wouldn’t let me.
You can’t change.
You’re trapped in the vicious cycle of your past.
Forever it consumes you.
Forever it prevents you from seeing me.

Your past is your prison.
Your prison is too small for me to join you.
I do not belong in your world.
Your world full of bitterness and distrust.
All I can do is watch.
Watch everyone try to bring you down and throw mistakes in your face.
Mistakes that aren’t even yours.

You try to escape.
You became a soldier.
Forever sworn to fight someone else’s war.
But if you can’t fight your own battles,
How can you win someone else’s?
If you can’t face me,
How can you look your enemies in the eye?

I fell in love with a man of stone.
I swallowed the bitter pill.
I crushed the feelings you ignited within me.
I pretend to be alright.
I look to the future.
I feel cold and empty,
But I must go on.

No matter what happens there will always be a time.
A time when I shall retreat into the dark recesses of my memories,
Where I will continue to love you.
Neither death, nor change will ever eradicate you from my world.
You have infected me with your disease and trapped me in the past.
I shall continue to wait for your return.
Your sweet poison still running through my veins.
I willingly let you destroy who I am.
I am no more, all I am is yours.


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