The truth settled in

The moment

My knees fell

Right before your

Gunshot

And it hasn't left

My heart since

That one moment

Stole from me

What should have been

The BEST 3 years of my life

...and counting.

But no

Your act of insanity

Not only took your life

But your family's.

And here I am studying hard

To make my way out of

Your death

As a healthy, whole

Person.

I try to not define myself

by the turbulent waves

of pain and

suffering

That not even my

Mother cares to deal with

Anymore.

And yet here I am

I am what I write

And what I feel

And what I feel

Is guilt

And grief

And...

Your pain...

Your tears...

Your last words

To me.

I am defined

As a survivor

Of your traumatic

Passing

And I'm trying to get out

So maybe one day

I will be me

Again.