Definition of ME.


I feel a heavy weight
Weighing down on me
Blocking my entrance to the pearly gates
Setting my inner demon free
 I don't want this life...
Full of constant restrain and strife
I want God to bless me
 Not look down in disgust and agony
 Why can't I be me?
 Respectful, Kind, 
What's going on that I can't see
Why am I not who I'm supposed to be?
 The guy said we're all princes and princesses
Where's my happy ending?
 I feel like my death is impending....
....I thought I could be one person
 Fit in with the status quo
Hoping no one would find out
Hoping no one would know
 Now i want to shout it out
 Tell it to the world 
What I'm all about.
I want to be free 
from this raging storm inside of me
Hope is out of sight
My day has turned into night
 Living the Christian life
What's the point?
Go to church every weekend...
Come home. Keep on sinning
Begin to comprehend
Then find out it's only me I'm deceiving.
I'm scared.
Of finding out who I really am
Because maybe
Just maybe
Who I really am
Is another faceless identity
in the shifting sand 
Why do I try to be what I am not
Acting kinda like a "made in China" ro-bot
People say to just be yourself
What if my self is exactly what im trying to escape?
What if I'm the antithesis of the accepted human state?
I'm misunderstood. 
Im black
And not from the hood
I'm sad
By the world around me
It makes me mad
When people assume about what they see
They don't know me
My circumstances, my struggles
They cant define ME 
By my language, my troubles
Look all around me
And what do I see?
A world full of the hungry, the greedy
The unsaved and the needy
 The hopeless 
The brave
By their guilt.
 their history.....
Of who...
.....Of who they USED to be.
The past
is behind me
But why is it the only thing I see
From what?
I dont rightly know
Maybe in TIme, MY God will show
You are pretty 
Beautiful , intelligent, motivated 
You are ugly 
Dumb, lazy, repulsive 
Words people try to use to confine me
 They use descriptive words to remind me
Of who I was, where I was, and who I used to be
But Words,
Words--they can't DEFINE ME.
Because I 
Guide that inspired this poem: 


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