Pressure and questioning

My rational thought process

Is lessening

Instead of learning from lessons

You want me to memorize

Knowing this theorem won't make me more wise

Deciding sooner on the rest of my life

Is too stressful, just thinking about

Highschool I don't have time to be restful.

You yell at me for only getting four hours of sleep

But I can't focus through this amount of work

Too much of it I can't believe in a locus

Of control I feel I do not have, or self

Respect, Esteem, to speak of

I have no self to speak of . No devotion

To creativity, repressing emotion 

And when I cry tears you ask

What's wrong my dear?

There's plenty of time, to make a decision

But you lie and systematic paradoxes

Cut through my mind with surgical precision

Don't be hasty, you don't know what decision to make

But to make it through life, you don't have time to think

To wait

The childhood stories of the slow wise tortise

Don't apply in rapid click, decide quick age

When you don't even have time to notice

That you're growing up stunted, a plant without

A lick of sunlight, in front of a computer screen

The steady stream of

"Decide, don't you know already?" 

Doesn't abate. As I pace my room

Like a long wait at the doctor's office

I'm looking for the spark of knowledg, fufillment

To strike me and cure neverending anxiety

But I must face the gnawing jaws of society

And tell them

"Sorry, I don't know yet

What I want to do

And if you're ready to work, that's great for you

But some things take time

And this little plant has yet to make up their mind

They just don't know what they want to do yet."

Good day to you, try asking

Again when I've slept through Sunday.