Dear Ned,

I know you wanted Nuike and yourself to be wed,

But I hardly think you would be happy with her.

All she wants to focus on is her...

Self!

She just wants to put you on a shelf

With all the other guys she loves to meet

And she's using you to buy her food to eat.

I am telling you this not to give you pain,

But because I know you will love again.

You are one of my favorite people

And I want you to be able to see other

People!

Please regard my words with careful contemplation

And find yourself a love that will better the nation.

From your friend.