I know you get confused about the concept of love, and i'm sorry that you would scream at whats above. Thinking you were incapable of feeling for anyone. You wondered why boyfriends weren't a big deal to you and some days out of the blue you'd smile at random girls across the road. You were scared not knowing why guys were unappealing, forcing yourself to like them, and you where scared when you understood that you liked women over men. I know you'd cry when friends would talk of love for boyfriends and ask you who you had a crush on. Many times you lied claiming feelings for a boy that you hadn't known for long. That happy feeling you had when they believed you and when that was gone you began to wonder again if you belong. You felt different, weird and you had a right to be scared. Don't fuss your head about , don't bang it on walls and drown it in water, keep it high and know you'll fall in love with girls, beautiful and kind and you'll one day find someone who understands your mind.
Lesbian, the word still doesn't sit right with me either but i promise you'll grow enough not to hate it. It will be just a word, not one that when you heard Joyou'd shrink in your steps, become small and shut off the world hoping nobody would think that you're one. Instead you'll grown to know that label belongs to you, you'll look at girlfriends and be queasy for a whole new reason, you wont be sick with yourself but be proud that you're able to love. And i know we were confused about that word at first, but we just didn't associate it with the right people, we could and can love, i can tell you we fall in and out of love with many people and we will be upset but don't worry because you'll come to accept, that you are who you are.
And when you're in the dark and you're lost know that you will become someone who is proud of their identity and you'll be free to love whoever we are destined too.
Love from Me to you.