Dear Mom,

This year has passed in the blink if an eye but it feels like nothing has really happened. 

I have been stuck in this rut of monotonous living, even though new things are occuring all the time.

Day in and day out,

      I have been the same

Nothing has happened, and I don't even know why I'm writing this letter,

Except that I miss you.

Grandma still compares me to you a lot of the time, but I don't mind it.

Dad still can't manage to talk about you without tearing up.

And even though it has been thirteen years since you were taken from us,

     I still have this hole in my heart that cannot be filled.

Isn't it funny how the words 'whole' and 'hole' are so similar? 

They sound the same and are spelled almost identically, but they are so different.

A hole can never be whole, no matter how hard you try to fill it.

If you do manage to make a hole whole again, then it is no longer a hole.

It is instead a new whole being

Complete by itself,

      And completely independent.

I wish I was a whole being as opposed to being full of holes.

But this year has taught me that there doesn't always have to be something going on.

It's okay to have nothing for a while,

     To be nothing