Dear Giorno, my baby boy

Dear Giorno
To my dearest baby boy,

The day I found out
that clears all my doubts.
That you existed in me
in the midst of winter.
My life fell apart
with my confusing heart.

Your daddy told me
let you be long gone,
for is it the best
to both of us and you.

I was stupid.
I was selfish.
To have you excluded,
from the beauty of life.

Because of my own fears,
I have you burry.
Giorno my dear,
mommy truly sorry.

Because of mommy,
you didn’t get to experience life,
the wonders of this world.
I’m sorry I couldn’t teach you
the many life’s firsts.

Mommy wasn't prepared
to give you the motherly care.
Sorry, my angel,
you must be cold up there.

I am sorry.
I'm regretting it
day by day.
Living through hell.
No, I’m not living,
I’m barely breathing.
The thoughts of not having you
it’s killing me.

You’re my everything.
Yet I send you back,
the precious gift from God,
like an unwanted item.

“I did it for you”
What the fuck was I thinking?
giving you such an excuse.
Please forgive me child,
for I can’t forgive myself.

Watch over us from heaven,
give mommy many blessings
and take away daddy’s stressing.
Mommy and Daddy will make sure
you won’t ever be forgotten.

Mommy promises you
one day I will meet you.
Now go on and be with God,
I’ll see you at the gate
once my time is up

To my angel that will never be born
I will forever be in mourn.

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