Dear Mom,

What is beauty? What is love? What is intelligence and perseverance? I don't exactly know but I know you are is quite close. Some days I get anxious and I’m drowned by the thought that someday somehow you are going to have to leave me. On those days I get depressed I get mad. And I can’t help the selfish thought that I want to be gone first so don’t have to deal with that kind of pain. But then I’m torn. I’m torn because I don’t want you to have to deal with that degree of pain either even if I wouldn’t be there to see it. If only there was a way for us to escape this world together to equally have no burden, no pain then I’d be content. I think I learned that sort of selflessness from you. I think that might be the most important lesson you taught me.