Dear dad

I don’t hate you

I hate who I’ve become because of you

They say I look like you
So I don’t smile because when I look in the mirror all I see is you smiling back at me

You can’t be happy because apart of you is missing

Me

And you go on living but not feeling what is missing because it’s easier forgetting

And I sit here pretending, continuously mending this broken heart you left me with when you decided that to you I wasn’t a daughter at all

And I decided you didn’t have anything to offer at all

My hair was that beautiful pastel black just like yours
So I dyed it

My eyes beautiful almond brown just like yours So I wear contacts

I’m your height
Guess that explains why my family makes fun of me because I always wear heels whenever I go out and I never take them off

I’m your beautiful brown skinned color
So I lay on the beach in the sun just to get a darker tan

I can’t stand it
Why do I have to look like a man I’ve never met
I’ve seen but never met
And the only thing you ever done for me
Is make me regret

You

And then I stop
I rinse my dye out
I throw away those green contacts
I take off my heels
And I begin to love my skin
And I begin to love myself
And I look in the mirror and I begin to see me
I’m not you

And even though I look like you
I will be a better you

And I promise you that dad