Dear Addiction

Dear Addiction,

You were a stranger. I knew you a little.

You spoke so softly, Told me what I wanted to hear. Like a con-man.

You played the cards well, You must have seen them before.

You led me into your grasp, ever so quietly. I didn’t know what I was getting into.

I was scared, You told me to trust you. I let you see every part of me.

You were actually pretty compelling. You made me fall, In love. With you.

 

You were the candy for my sweet tooth.

You became my whole world. Every thought was about you, I loved everything about you,

How you looked, How it felt to be in your grasp, How I could never be without you.

The words you told me, I didn’t ever want to leave you.

I was the only one for you, So you said. I didn’t know what love was before you.

You made me feel powerful. I was strong. All because of you.

I went to you when I was broken, And you showed me the path to success.

Others told me you were toxic.

That pissed me off, They shouldn’t tell me what to do, Who to love.

And I loved you! I did, trust me.

I loved you more than my own life, Yours was superior to mine.

They started taking you away from me. I longed for you. I got so mad.

Cause it hurt. To be without you.

 

I didn't see it.

What they meant.

They told me what happened. I was like putty in your hands.

Did whatever you wanted, Did whatever I could.

Just to see you. Just to be with you. Just to hear that lie,

“I love you.”

From what they say, I’m shocked, I made it out alive.

It feels like I was blacked-out, Our entire relationship.

And somehow, I woke up on the couch, With an aching headache.

My body hurt, I felt awful. I didn’t know what I did. Or why I felt such a hole.

There was an emptiness, Something I longed for, But couldn’t understand.

I remember the fights. On and off with you. The yelling, screaming.

The pain that always came when you went away.

How I would always come back and apologize.

What did you do to me? Why am I so hurt? Why can’t I remember anything?

 

I guess you were toxic.

I’m still recovering. Sometimes I think I miss you.

Though I have learned, How to be stronger, How to protect myself.

From you. Others like you.

I may still be vulnerable, And get panic attacks when I see you, Or hear you.

But I know I can’t fall back into your trap. I can’t fall back into another trap.

I’ll protect myself. I’ll protect myself from you.

 

Sincerely,

The broken.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

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