you're lying next to me but i've never felt more alone. i wake up next to you but all i see is an empty body with a mind that wanders to other girls and what they can give you that i could never do the same oh how i want to give you all that you want and all that you need i want to be everything that you need and i bend backwards and break myself into tiny little pieces but you don't want that nor do you want me.

you know how much you mean to me and you use me you fucking use me and i know you do but i let you do it because i love you and i will let you walk all over me and push me deeper into the mud until mother will take me take me underground take me away from you and so i will rot there and watch you as you grow up high above me.

i cut the crusts off of your nutella toast and all you did was smile. for me that was enough but have you ever thought of why i do that for you or how i made your food first before mine although my tummy was rumbling and calling out to be fed. i did yours first, and i put you first above everything but for me i am just a person to fall back on, a support mechanism for you to collapse onto when you need the help. 

i wish you cared about me half as much as i care for you.