If the world were to end tomorrow

I’d spend my last hours with the universal language.

 

If I lost my hearing tomorrow

I’d spend today

Listening to Forever and Always by Parachute,

Dreaming of the house I’d live in one day

with the man I’d be proud to call my own

Turning up the Friens theme song and remembering my late-night marathons with Mom

Hearing the opening chords of All of Me and remembering my first slow dance.

 

If I could forget one memory today

I would forget that blue, uncomfortable chair in the dreaded doctor’s office

the raspy desperation which with I prayed:

Please say my singing voice isn’t gone forever

Please, God, help me.

 

If I lost my singing voice forever,

I’d be an unfinished symphony.

 

If I could resent one thing from my past, it would be those pesky little lumps.

Nodes, they called them.

Severing my ability to sing for eight months straight.

Thank goodness we caught it here, they said.

I cried for days.

It’s for the better, they said.

I tried to believe them.

 

If I could go back in time and change something,

I’d be more grateful

for those moments where I could barely sing because I was smiling too hard

for the friends I had made,

who understood what I meant when I was wiping tears away after a particularly beautiful chord

resonated throughout the room

 

If I could remember one thing for my entire lifetime

it would be the way I feel onstage

in the car

in the shower

in chorus class

When I’m singing,

there is no facade

the curtain is lifted

no expectations, for once

imagine that

just pure confidence.

 

If someone were to bottle my musical experiences, the label would read “Essence of Elizabeth.”

 

If I could forget one feeling

it would be feeling that I’d never regain my footing

that the ground had just been ripped out under my feet.

My whole world was spinning out of control.

 

If you had told me twelve years ago

that black dots on five lines

would shape my future

I would have deemed you crazy.

 

If you asked me what one thing I could absolutely not live without,

I would choose music

without a doubt, no second thoughts.

There is something about music something raw and #unfiltered.

It has stood the test of time

helped me realize who I am

who I want to be

what I want to strive for

 

but most of all, when times get tough,

to remember to just keep singing

 

If today I were to stop singing for good

If today I were to leave music behind

If today I were to part with part of me

My soul’s epitaph would instantly be crafted.