Counting (TW: Eating Disorder, Depression)

Location

95834
United States

Counting calories day and night,
Wondering if I should take this bite.
Anxiety muddled and riddled through;
Left feeling empty and 'whatever do I do'??

Measuring the inches day by day--
Starving and wasting away...
Tears and bones exposing me,
But still everyone just let me be.

I never wondered then, but I wonder now
How I could ever think I was a 'cow'
At 93 pounds and still losing more
How could no one see and open a door?

Scales and tape measures became my life--
Even considering going under the knife...
But with unhappiness came desire;
A need to become a rectifier.

To start a journey long and hard,
A lifestyle that I thought was barred.
A road to recovery that was long overdue,
But a path traveled by two.

His support and love helped me grow
And to learn to never think so low.
Though this was my journey to take,
Without him, its one I never would make.

And now I think I can make it on my own
To continue to add some meat to my bone.
Course he's there by my side,
But now my ED can't ever hide.

This poem is about: 
Me
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