A Conversation with Fear
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"Hey! Remember me?No?Come on! Don’t you recognize me? Your best bud since that quiet scary night in 93. You were just a babe, remember, sleeping in the dark? When I swept in like a clever snake and crept into your heart. Still not ringing any bells? I was your friend though grade school years. You didn’t need anyone else. You had me: your friend . your guide. Your FEAR. Tada! I knew you’d recognize me. Tho I admit I was getttin kinda nervous. Nervous like my friend who keeps your nerves forever at my service. Heart pounding, head rushing, you won’t EVER step out and let the Heavenly Father use you. Your WHOLE LIFE is filled with doubt. Good enough? I doubt it. Hey look, I’m just bein real. Something you’re afraid to do cuz of how it’d make you feel. Soo, nervous, you serve us breakin out into a cold sweat, everytime you get close to a reality you know you’ll never forget. Just forget it!Im your best friend and I will not let this go! Besides, when you really think about it you wont either. Im the only one you really know will come through for you. I’ll help you through your issues and by though I mean in. I’ll help you get so wrapped up in them you wont see a way out again. Stress and panic will begin to fill your mind. You don’t mind. It’s actually kinda peaceful isn’t it? Living this way. Having me, your fear, dictate what you do and say. Say, can you believe it? We’ve been together almost 20 years. 20 years of caution, doubt, unbelief, and selling out to fear. It’s like a marriage. Ain’t it funny? That you can last this long with fear?When the average marriage lasts from 6 months to a year? But see, we got something special..got that Facebook/Twitter love. Got that Taylor Swift, you broke my heart but I still wanna be wit ya love. Got that on and off SOMETIMES will I be here for ya love. Got that Hollywood reality show I don’t even KNOW ya love. Waiit wait wait wait Don’t know me? Course you do! Im those dark and empty spaces that YOU try to fill up with false religionleaving oyu with even bigger spaces. Spacious tho. It’s better this way, don’t worry, you can trust me. Or don’t but I bet you’ll never find a way to shush me. See you’re led by my voice. A voice that drowns out all the others. All the while I steal your secrets like a cop working undercover. Wanna know a secret? I’m good at what I do, Im a spy, a double agent. I tell you that Im here for you even as I leave you hanging. Hanging by your own rope, waiting for you to die. (whisper) see im not really your friend, all my “comfort” is a lie.) Isnt that why you still feel empty unfulfilled in empty places. See like a double agent I come with may aliases and faces. Like the terrorizing fear. The self-paralyzing fear.The “but they’ll see me” fear. The “please don’t ever leave me” fear. The “I wont ever succeed” fear. The “is this really what I need?” fear. The “ I’ll do it on my own” fear. The “im utterly alone” fear. The “ill never get a man” fear. The “this isn’t my plan” fear. The “why cant I see?” fear. The “is this really me?” fear. The “I gotta play church” fear. The “is this all Im worth?’’ fear. The “ am I insane?” fear. The “what if I can’t change?” fear. See I’ve held you like a slave slaving like your ancestors crossing over the sea. When they crossed over to a land and were chained under ruthless tyranny. But tears no longer needed if you wake up and realize. See you don’t really need me and if you’d just open up eyes, then the sighs would be long gone, a forgotten memory. Cuz it’s when you opne your eyes then you’d finally see that the love, eternal love, infernal love , like an oven burning from the Throne of God into you, no other loving could ever do it like he does. Cuz his love aint that Justin Beiber, Hollywood pop love. It’s that pure and perfect, cuz he’s worth it, MORE than earthly love. See when Jesus Christ comes down and wraps you in his arms. He don’t let go. You’re now ETERNALLY safe and warm. But woah,ok now, woah. Look its not as fun as being here. Being wrapped in this paralyzing, terrorizing fear. You do realize this’d be over. We’d be ending this all right here. Cuz it’s clear when Jesus’ perfect love come in it casts out fear. Said it’s clear when Jesus’ love comes in it casts out fear. So now its time to make a choice, the time has come you see. Will you choose to be free or will you spend your life with me? Will you choose to be free or will you spend your life with me. What’ll it be? Take your time, don’t worry I’ll be here. Always watching, waiting, your friendly neighborhood ….FEAR."