At some point in life I'll have to be honest...with myself.. with you.

The truth is, I stopped caring.

Not, in an I give no fvks.

Just that all the emotional 'trauma' has dulled my emotions.

It's like after I conquered depression, anger took it's place.

I think of the apparition of myself, long gone yet not forgotten.

Compunction still fills my body.

Head to toe. Toe to head.

Neck extended and head up high,

My worst fear is drowning into myself.

The dark side of me,

That dreams of eternal rest.

That is ruthless.

That mocks danger.

That’ll tear itself apart in spite of me.

Understand when I had it under control every time I told you “I love you”,

My heart beated deeply. Mimicking every syllable.

I want you to leave to be safe from me.

But, I want you to stay to love me still and one day break me free.

Staying will destroy you.

Leaving has destroy you.

How do you kiss dark lips and still beam light?

How do you touch my skin and not feel drained?

How can we burst into fights when can leave and I can leave and you still kiss me at night?

How can we be so meant for eachother, yet so bad?