When we started, we vowed nothing but the truth, and the whole truth. As of recently I thought that was the case, but then I realized you wanted to “beat around the bush” not to hurt what was inside it. It dawned on me that that I was lying the whole time, including the time I looked you straight in the eyes and told you something, or did not say anything.I was a kind and gentle fellow, one that liked everything to stay mellow, one that did not want to do things to make me say whoa. The kind of guy who like your happy status quo. I was a gentleman at heart, I did not want to open up my mind and truly speak, I did that once and I really did not want this to be a repeat.  I love you for all your ups and downs and I went about your adversities with a glum frown. When the time got rough and you decided to make everything abrupt I decided to put you first and say that that was enough. A gentleman puts what everyone else wants before his own need. They say chivalry is dead, I decided to prove them wrong with my deeds. It was not until I truly learned where I fucked up that I can become a better person. It was not until I was too supportive that our relationship truly worsened. That is why chivalry dies, when the hero ends up alone is when he breaks down and cries. Anything for your happiness is what I truly desired, even if it meant being fake so you would not conspire.I decided that I am over all the bullshit that comes with being a gentleman, it’s time to grow up and become a real man. One that will put up with your bullshit and tell you when you are wrong, one that wants you to be happy, go out of his way to make you happy but at the end of the day, can be quite sappy and not give a flying fuck about the song that is going on, one that can stare into your eyes and be completely happy. And excuse all the vulgarity but not being with you is insanity. Being without you has a way to change me for the better. You are a catalyst for my mind and when you are also the limiting reagent that stopped making me shine it is when you find out that their earthquakes are coming from my faults did I decided to stop and think. Not once did I realize that is was I who made your heart weak and weary when we were together. It makes all the time I was with you even better. I have learned to not give a fuck when it comes to the opinions of others because at the end of the day it just restarts and when you finally realize that, you can finally close up your heart. For you I will love for as long as time will allow, but now when I see you I wish to give you a different vow. No more bullshit, friends regardless of what happens and honesty so brutal I will call you savage because what is there not to love about a girl who can break down and then not have to break up.It is not only your absence that tortured my mind, it is having to look at everything we ever did on campus and think that might have been a waste of time. But then I get over the pain inside my heart, when I see you again I want to greet you with open arms. Cook for you with the labor of love, watch tv or gaze at the stars above. I could not care what happens to you as long as you’re happy and have a can do attitude. It is when you are truly connected with me that you have this amazing aptitude. I’m so tired of bullshit, I’m so tired of depression and when I hold the door for you again, I will not hold it for everyone else is rapid succession. Time is truly the biggest bitch in all the land, but it has taught me something that I did not plan. It taught me to love and it taught me that everything is not rainbows and sunshine. It taught me when life is a bitch not to be the ion sodium chloride (salt). I finally found another cog in the ambiguous machine you call life. And without it there would be no strife. I will continue to yearn your presence but you say you need time and time is of the essence.