Caught in the Middle

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There's something odd about a cold girl from Colorado who yearns for the Arizona sun

Who loves the twang of Kenny Chesney but also the rasp of Kendrick Lamer

Who writes and paints about love but also fires a 12 gauge shotgun and a compound bow as if the arrow escaping the string is her own escape from reality

Who is always in the mood for a large Sonic popcorn chicken but also La Baguette's buttered noodles with grapes on the side

Who procrastinates and puts on a mask of carelessness but also never fails to complete an assignment and feels nauseas at the thought of less than an A

Who can knit and crochet a scarf for a friend during half a season on Netflix but also greet the sun on a long morning hike with her red heeler

Who can insult and joke on her own behalf shamelessly in front of her anatomy table but also freezes to a statue of a baby deer during a class presentation

Who reads Christopher Poindexter's words as if they are a lifeline and missing even one syllable will be the death of her but also opens a new tab and scrolls through a Buzzfeed Disney list

Who would like to sit inside and contemplate the stars but also wants to dance beneath them in front of headlights at dusk

Who sits like a stone during a tragic movie but also only cries when the dog dies

Who detests war and all its horror but also admires and prays for the undeniable strength of soldiers and their families

Whose heart swells with unfathomable love for her family but also belongs in a different, warmer place, 800 miles away

Who yells at the sky and cries at the cruelty of God but also clasps her hands to her face and thanks Him repeatedly for the life she lucked out with

Who is a liviing contraditcion, caught in the middle of the mess she has created from sticking her feet in so many puddles while searching for an ocean, something permanent and powerful, to get lost in while finding all the answers

Yes, there's something odd about the cold girl from Colorado. But she is going to find her way to Arizona eventually.

And she might find that puddles can be more fascinating and less overwhelming than oceans. And there's nothing wrong with being caught in the middle, nothing wrong at all.

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