I couldn’t be more sure

Of all the nostalgia I’d endure,

If I were to explore

A calf love crisis

That was so hard to cure,

 

How your mummy, she knew mine,

They’d been friends

For a little time,

And the time that you explained,

Your first name, it was Jane,

 

I really loved you, Jane,

But you only

Gave me pain,

You said ‘hello’ the first,

But it only ended for the worst.

 

In our local swimming pool,

I swam so close to you,

Did you smirk

To your bob-haired friend,

Between the deep and the shallow end?

 

So I just shyly slinked away,

Feeling such a fool that day,

Pet Clark reinforced

My bitter woe,

Singing My Love on the radio,

 

I really loved you, Jane,

But you only

Gave me pain,

You said ‘hello’ the first,

But it only ended for the worst.