When no one knows your
Vices
and faults;
Casualties
and thoughts;
Doubts
and fears;
Losses
and leers;
Defects
and flaws;
Combatants
and claws,
enthralling but insane,
it’s rather simple to live doubly,
an automaton forced inside your skeleton.
Smile because no one even knows, but can they see it?
It’s stiff, you know?
And it’s oh so very hard to breathe.

It’s listless,
but impractical.
I can’t ever forget it.
How deep the pain inscribed,
overwrote my mind,
replacing joy and compassion.
I became unseemly impassive.
Oh, will I ever feel again?
Life without love makes it hard to breathe.

So, this is hurt?
To lose feeling at the cost of distress?
Ha! The irony, it baffles this restless mind.
“I can’t change who I am, what I am changes me.”
Words, spoken into existence,
without ever finding their way from the brain
and out the mouth.
Thoughts like catalysts, a cancer of who knows what?
It spreads disaster in the innermost parts,
running through,
dilapidating this fragile life.
Missing lungs make it quite hard to breathe.

“I think it’s a fever and I can’t breathe any longer.”
My pride rang out night after night.
Tears streaming down my face,
blinding rain,
I couldn’t see that all was right.
That the world is full of the broken,
the ones I could live without.
“They are not my world,
My world is of my own fright.”
Still I wondered, do they find it hard to breathe?

Return to the start
Back to the genesis
Where all indeed was right
When all were pure in heart.
How quickly did we fall?
Undoubtedly, we desired to fufill degenerate wishes;
so who are we to think we are strong?
Four years and I’ve nothing to say,
except that the rain has waned
so now I can breathe again.
The water cleared my vision,
but I hear there was painful price to pay.