The cloud surrounding my mind is dark

The storm lasts for days and days

Weeks and weeks

Months and Months

So many years

What was it like before the rain?

Who am I when it stops?

Does this darkness define me?

The ever-lasting internal battle

To wake

To sleep forever

To never sleep at all

Old friend, I once knew so well

Do forgive me, this half-smile hurts worse than you could imagine

For everything hurts.

My every bone, muscle, thought.

My very soul aches.

My mind is my greatest weapon

But it has overpowered me 

It is a beast I can no longer control

I try everyday to hold it back

Sometimes I win

Others I fear I was never in control at all

I hope one day

To know myself

For who I was, who I am, who I could be

On a sunny day without a cloud in sight.