Blood Is Thicker Than Water?
Location
Your Mom
She's the one that's always going to be there for you
Whether it's cleaning your scraped knees,
Or mending you heart that got broken
By that jerk that lived down the street
She would do anything for you, right?
Wrong.
My mom is only there for me when it is convenient for her
My stepdad, stepbrother and stepsister
Have ALWAYS been above me when it comes to importance in her life
There's that old saying,
"Blood is thicker than water",
I hate to burst your bubble,
But that's bullshit
My mom, MY BLOOD,
Who is supposed to love me unconditionally,
Cares so little about me and so much about them
I can't help but let my mind wander;
What's wrong with me?
Why doesn't she love me like she loves them?
What have they done to receive her love that I have not?
For ten years, this is how it's been
And I sat, waiting and wishing for a change
The ounce of self-esteem that I had worked so damn hard to gain
Evaporated completely
Low and Worthless is what I felt like
Lower than I was even capable of comprehending
My thoughts turned dark
Maybe I'm just useless
My life is just pointless
If my own mother can't love me like she's supposed to
How could I actually be of importance to anyone at all?
My step-dad,
Constantly putting me down
Everything I felt like
Low and Worthless
And everything in between
He confirmed with his words
Yelling and screaming at me,
That I am nothing
His words were sharp
Cutting me down every day
Like the blade of a knife.
My mom,
Pursed her lips,
And watched
Witnessing it all,
Never saying a word
As if she had suddenly lost her voice
Why do you think I put so much effort into everything I do?
I read and studied through my Friday nights
You'd never catch me at a party,
Drinking out of that red cup
With that liquid poison pumping through my veins
I knew I had to get into a University
So I could get the hell out of here
I knew I had to keep good morals
I knew I had to remain a compassionate being
I didn't do all of it to prove myself to them
No, I did it all for me
To prove to myself,
That I am NOT nothing.
In an insanely twisted way
I would not be a good person
If it wasn't for my mom
I will be nothing like her
I will not be a door mat
Lying around for people to walk all over
I will never treat my children the way I grew up
My children will be loved
Cherished
Encouraged
And they will FEEL like they are
If I was bitter
I would say thanks for nothing mom
But I'm going to be the bigger person,
Just like I have had to be for most of my life,
And say thank-you
Thank-you mom
For giving me a walking and breathing example
Of what I will never be like