A bildungsroman,

From child to woman.

 

When did hide-and-go-seek

On playgrounds and

Yelling “cannon ball!”

Into meadow creaks

Become too childish?

 

When did asking for dollars-

guilt-free, no hassle, no interest

from a mother

turn into-

guilt, debt, and worry

from a teller?

 

When did asking

for permission

Turn into declarative statements

Under parental genuine worry?

 

When did adulthood

seem so far away.

and now childhood

a distant memory.

 

A bildungsroman,

From child to woman

 

Hindsight says that

Maybe adulthood arrived

The moment hands touched

Budding rose nips and

Hushed confusion into dominance.

 

Maybe adulthood arrived

The moment beer bottles,

Vomit stains, hungover days

Were taken care of

By an underling.

 

But surprisingly,

Adulthood came with a

Different cliché.

 

You see,

No amount of forced touches

Or taking care of drunks

Gave so much fear

Than failure ever provoked.

 

Stiff was life.

Because rules, expectations,

Manners, and respect

Had no room for

Anything less.

 

So, when life began bending-

When failure started becoming apparent-

I began falling.

 

But wise words

Had reached my stiff life-

It’s ok to fail, to fall, to tumble,

Even if we give our ambitions

The best we got

And still stumble.

At least I can say,

Proudly, that I tried my best

Without a mumble

Of doubt.

 

For now I know

That when failure reaches for me,

I accept with an open mind

That failure is not

Always on losing grounds.