Beyond "Depression"

It's so far beyond "Depression" it's lost, Disconnected. I feel that there is no light at the end of my tunnel. I'm in this abyss of nothingness, and there's no one else here to even see. I feel as if the world I wake up in and exist in every day is a hell that my mind is trapped in. Forced to experience every single moment only to go to sleep and escape for just long enough to hope I never have to wake up and face it again but I do. I have to endure it every day. I can't even say why it's so miserable sometimes. I could give you a million reasons why but even if none of those reasons existed I would still feel this. It's like it's etched in my bones, the darkness, the cloud, the fog, the abyss. It's not me creating it, it's that I was created to exist inside of it. It's so beyond "depression". Its a.. place. It's a whole world. That I'm trapped in but my body is still here just moving about like the good little toy soldier is supposed to. While I'm stuck behind the glass, watching, no longer crying for help because, for so long, I cried for help, I pounded on the glass. I screamed until I lost my voice.. but no one heard me. No one saw me behind the glass. They looked but they never SAW. They just glanced, or stopped for a second as though they were window shopping, but they never saw ME. What did they see? Why couldn't they see me in here dying? Why couldn't they hear me?

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