I am not solitary.

I require the love of others, as do we all

to be happy.

I need occasional attention;

I need encouragement;

I need to be reassured, and hugged,

and appreciated.

But if one day, if some power that would be

much greater and crueler than me

decided that I could have nothing,

nothing more than the one thing that I need the most, the

one

single

thing,

then I would much rather choose my own self

than any person that I know.

 

I would miss my family,

as loving as they are.

I’d long for

my mother, and her contagious laugh;

my father, and his gentle hands;

my sister, and her wild soul.

I need them.

I need them like fish need water;

like flags need wind;

like trains need tracks;

but even though I would howl for endless nights

if one day they were stripped away,

I know that I need my self more.

 

And I would my friends,

who invigorate me and empower me;

who ignite me like flint to a match

and set my ideas growing and climbing like wildfire.

I would my boyfriend terribly; my companion who

watches over me like a guardian angel,

always sprinting to my side

at the first hint of danger,

a watchdog; a canary in a coal mine; a dear friend to count on

whenever I get scared,

or lonely,

or feel lost and blinded.

He is there. He always will be.

Yes, I do love them all,

and life would be grey without their presence,

but I’d sooner take my own personality

than live off of the fumes of theirs.

 

For though I am not solitary,

and though I would miss them brokenheartedly

as though some irreplaceable piece of my body

were lobbed off unwillingly,

I know that I am still strong alone.

though I am not perfect,

and though I am flawed in ways

that can never be resolved,

I would never be recovered

or replaced

or revived

if someone were to take away

my heart and my soul.

 

Because I would be nothing without my heart.

I would be nothing without my creativity;

without my wit;

without my ambition.

And I would also be nothing without my arrogance,

or my millimeter-short temper,

or my fragile, glass-blown emotions

that sometimes shatter at a single blow.

 

If everything were to be stripped from me,

all of the good, and

all of the bad,

the consequences would be

far more insurmountable

than they would be to lose another.

Even though it would break my heart

to watch all of those that I love

disappear into the distance,

I know, in my heart,

that there will always be

one

single

thing

that I can never allow to be taken away.

 

And that is my self.