Believe in Make Believe

Thu, 10/03/2019 - 01:31 -- bled

Everyone always tells me I have a way with words.Yes, my pen scribbles almost uncontrollably, when I picture you, and how I like to describe who you are, and how much an acquaintence could possibly mean to me. I was gifted with the ability to find the perfect words to illustrate what I like about you. But more importantly, what I like about the idea of us. That idea is just as clear as the glass on the mirror I see myself within, and just as imaginary, because my image is not who I am, but who they believe me to be. Everyone always tells me I have a way with words.I understand why they say that, and as much as I agree, sometimes I can't help but feel like they're wrong. Sure, I'm able to elaborately tell you how much I love you, even though we just met. and yes, I can make you fall in love with my words, and the way I make you feel like you deserve the universe, because that's what I told you. But as much as I express how I feel for you, there's one thing that can't be conveyed. the most important aspect of what I'm saying, will never be grasped by anyone except myself. It will never leave my soul. And that is the way I feel for you, beyond words. You would think that nothing is impossible for a good writer to explain. But the thing is, no one would ever think that that impossibility is the expression through writing itself. Words are just words. I can tell you what I feel for you. And maybe if what they say is true, I can give you a rough idea of how strongly that is felt. But the weight of the fact that you'll never know how much I love you, is pulling me down. And maybe that's the exact reason I'm falling for you. But sometimes when I feel too much, I overthink. I don't know what's going through my head, because I can't hear a thing over my racing heartbeat. I just happen to realize that I'm doing so when you glance back at me, and you make the thumping stop. But it doesn't mean I'm dead. It just means I'm frozen in the ice that I decided you buried me in, after the littlest thing you did, that I don't even remember. But as still as I am, I'm being moved, by the force of your presence.And as I'm rooted here, to this chunk of floor hurtling through space and time, I think to myself. I think that maybe it doesn't matter that you'll never feel what I feel from my words. As long as you feel the same while you read, you'll understand them. As I realize that that's the only thing important, I land. I open my eyelids, and I find that I'm in your arms. Believe in make believe.

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Comments

OnEE spEEks

Wow..... It's as if You're in My head.

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